If you ask for butter, you will get margarine.

If you then ask as sweetly as possible whether the waitress might be a doll and get you some butter instead of this margarine, she will look right at the packet of butter, the one which reads butter-tasting spread made from 60% vegetable oil, and tell you that that is indeed butter, hon. She’ll then probably wander into the kitchen and laugh at the stupid snotty Yankee tourist who doesn’t know what the hell butter is even when she’s staring at a whole dish full of it not six inches from her nose.

Coming up in Future Installments of North Carolina Travel Tips: If a burger costs only $2.79 in a restaurant, there’s generally a reason; and that reason is not “wow, things are so much cheaper down here!”