New Rule

Cherished Readers,

Antagonistic comments from anonymous posters will miraculously self-destruct, with a priority given to those comments containing any sort of references to:

-The Lord and what he has in store for me

-“His word” (as opposed to the word of people who lived years after the death of Jesus but somehow managed to jot down “His words” and get that Guttenberg guy to print them up)

-Threats about my eternal soul vis a vis Feminism, Judaism, Darwinism, Weissbluthism, or my enjoyment of a good Blood Mary and a premarital schtup on the Sabbath.

-The Yankees’ post-season performance.

Thank you,

The Management.

{63 Comments}

63 thoughts on “New Rule”

  1. I don’t know how it happened, but I’ve disliked the Yankees and all they stand for ever since I can remember.If enjoying this latest collapse is a sin, let me be guilty.

  2. I know what the Lord has in store for you, but I’m not telling. He and I are keeping everything secret til the big surprise. I will let you in on this part: everyone gets some really cool gift bags.…gotta go, I have a date with a flaming shrubbery.

  3. Whoa. And I missed your last few comment sections….must run to go see what the Lord has in store for you, me, and all the other feminists/Darwinists/Yankee fans…

  4. I just see it as this: the more nasty comments you have left in your comments section, the more you are reaching people and becoming successful! At least that’s what I tell myself while I deleted three idiotic comments last week. Although send them my way, I would like to know what the Lord has in store for me because my life certainly is a mess right now:)

  5. As a fan of the team that swept the NLCS last night – the lesser known, lesser admired of the two New York teams – I have no need to taunt you. I’m too busy bathing in champagne.Oh, and that other stuff? My glass house needs no new cracks from incoming rocks (although I’m giggling about the premarital schtup).

  6. But, but, if you delete them then we can’t have any fun. Don’t you think it might be just a tad selfish to keep those pearls of wisdom all to yourself? (except for the yankee ones, those we can live without)

  7. Excellent new rule — if commenters like those you’ve described can just worry about their own eternal souls, I’m sure the rest of us can take care of our own however we see fit, Bloody Marys and all.

  8. I just got caught up on your life, and after finding out that some momentous, not-necessarily-good thing has occurred, I want to tell you that I hope things are looking up, and that people who write off-color comments (and I don’t mean R-rated – oh, hell, no. those are the *good* kind of off-color) can oftentimes, albeit definitely not intentionally, be incredibly funny. b/w that and weird Al, I hope you’re feeling more smiley.hug.

  9. Oh, now I am sad that I won’t get to read crazy nonsensical comments. They always make me feel so much better about my own social skills.Unless they’re on MY blog, of course, in which case, I delete them. Jerks.

  10. Oh, hon, nobody needs to tell you your eternal soul is damned. You’re a Yankee fan, a member of the evil empire, you’re going to hell anyway. Why tell you what you already know.🙂But at least your team made it to the post season. And if Steinbrenner has anything to do with it your hell will be really swanky and have good looking, well groomed men running around in tight baseball pants. As opposed to my hell which is a team that breaks your heart year after year.

  11. Mean people suck. But, having dealt with a large contingent of mean people for the better part of two years, I can tell you this:A)Ignoring them really is the best way to deal with them. The thing that pisses mean people off the most is being ignored. B)It’s not really about you. People who behave this way are sad, bitter, sometimes mentally unbalanced individuals who need to lash out at others to salve their own misery. C)Leaving snarky comments up will not sway people to their way of thinking, but rather illustrate *their* nastiness and intolerance. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Or, should I say, don’t sweat the small minded. And hell isn’t so bad, I don’t think. At least we’ll be in good company.

  12. You should add anyone who tells you that you are a bad parent and anyone who tells you Thalia is anything but adorable. 🙂Not that either of those things could ever hapen, but just in case.

  13. man, i guess it’s a good thing i leave all my yankees-bashing on my own blog… 😛i don’t know what the lord has in store for you or me or anyone else, but i hope it includes a bouncy castle and lots of milkshakes. 🙂

  14. Save a seat for me over in the Weissbluthism section of hell (I hear it’s very peaceful and quiet over there).

  15. It truly is the best thing to ignore them, I know it’s true, but sometimes, don’t you just want to take ’em on? Because they can’t reason, they can’t spell, and they rarely know what they’re talking about. You know that in a fair, judged debate you’d whoop all their tuckuses.

  16. I once laughed myself off my chair with the way the girls over at gofugyourself.typepad responded to nasty comments. It went something like this: “I can see you’re upset. Let me hold you. I am quite dapper and smell fantastic…”For good healing laugh read more here: http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/09/when_intern_geo.htmlSo I think the best way to deal with this is through humour and that thing thing that you’re so good at – sarcasm 🙂 Love your blog!

  17. This sort of post season is the kind that makes even the most die-hard fan want to hop the subway and enjoy a fair-weather fall.Jesus said it was okay.

  18. Dude! I’m a Red Sox girl! Jeeze… well, okay, what if I just don’t COMMENT on the Yankees, generally… I’ll just keep my dark thoughts to myself. Does that work for you?

  19. i’m a tribe fan. i’m afraid i must agree with mrs. chicky. yankees = evil borg. y’all are doomed. doomed i tell ya!

  20. Go Mets!!!!!I’m sorry for you and your Yankees but there is another team here in NY. I know shocking, right? Couldn’t help myself. I will obey all rules from now on.

  21. Sorry to be off topic but I just found out you’re moving to LA. (Haven’t been blog-cruising for a while: life etc.)Huzzah!Now stop spewing your Godless filth, you inveterate Yankee-lover, and go obey your husband or something. The Lord won’t have any truck with mothers who think, you know. It’ll only make you think your spirit doesn’t deserve to be daily crushed, or some such madness.

  22. You probably don’t think it’s a good idea that I listen to the spam I got telling me to take a job in Israel, do you?Consult your Magic 8 ball, think on it, and get back to me.

  23. I love this blog more than you know, but I ain’t NEVAH gonna hide my baseball allegiances.NEVAH.NEVAH EVAH.

  24. I’ve always thought that the anonymous commenters who slung mud were the equivalent of drive-by shooters. Spineless folk who live a hypocritical life. Use one hand to slap you down for having an opinion while they use the other as a megaphone to broadcast their ridiculous views with another. Rock that delete button!

  25. The Yankees untimely demise was the lord’s way of punishing you for your evilness/jewishness/feminism/cannibalist ways. Watch out. If you keep having that *sex* the Jets are going to be involved in a horrible plane crash on the way to their next away game. And that’s not to mention what’s in store for the Knicks (i.e. they’ll have another season like their last one). I crack me up. But seriously, that’s the lord’s way of punishing you but rewarding me, a Tiger fan since pre-1984.

  26. Shoot. I never get fun anonymous comments like that. I want to feel the power of pressing the “delete” button and spitting a “so THERE” towards the computer.

  27. Oh, now I just got all sorta shades of confused – when you say, “His Word”… you’re talking about me, right? I think so. It makes sense. Yeah. I get that a lot. Once “My Word” is more recognized, I’m sure to get my own Anonymous comments, too.

  28. Oh, that’s much worse than my commenters trying to get me to Buy! Something! after a truly genuine comment that my blog! is! so! enjoyable!Delete.And…(whispering) GO TIGERS!

  29. Since I’m too damn busy worrying about my own eternal damnation, I find I don’t have much time to comment on yours.Therefore, I will abide by managements stringent rules.However,Cock??Too damn funny.

  30. They so should have one. I’m upset, too. I don’t normally watch baseball. In fact, I know nothing about the teams. I just preferred the Yankee’s uniforms.Okay and, my friend Tracy lives in the city and told me I had to root for them, so I did because she’s scary when it comes to baseball! 🙂

  31. I cried a little at the loss of the Yankees… out here in Northern Cali, hanging out at the “Old Pro”, where the cheers were LOUD…. I think everyone out here hates the Yankees…. I am the lone yankee fan …..

  32. Hey, hey, leave gutenburg out of it! He only printed what had been circulating for close to 1500 years already! In fact, he was part of what helped wrestle some of the power of the words out of the hands of the church by printing a vernacular version and making it more widely accessible for actual reading, at least by those who knew how.

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