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A Mighty Wean: The Sequel

10.17.2007

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Hi Liz,

I’m one of the three moms who runs Adiri, makers of the Adiri Natural Nurser and the Breastbottle. I read your blog tonight and loved it and saw that you are considering these bottles. As a fellow blogger (I write for SV Moms Blog and have my own as well) I’d love to send you a sample of our new Adiri Natural Nurser if you’d like to try it…The new one is, as you mentioned, BPA and phthalate free, simpler to use, and it looks a hell of a lot cooler. If you would like a sample please let me know where to send it!

-Sarah


Now THAT’S how you do it, PR people.

I received this email about 3 weeks ago and it changed my life, sweartagahd. This product is the single most awesomest bit of awesome-y awesomeness that ever did enter my household. (And considering we have a big-ass TV and Guitar Hero: 80s Edition, that’s saying something.)

Sage is eating. She is eating from a bottle. Hallelujah! Right in time for the insane travel schedule to begin again, too.

And so with a wee bit of melancholy and a whole lot of expectation for more sleep in my future, A Mighty Wean: The Sequel begins.

Breastfeeding to me has never been my cause (although it’s a good one). It’s not an “issue” for me. It was just how I fed my babies. And now it’s time for me to move on.

The entire nursing business been bittersweet. There are moments I love it and moments I curse its wretched, nipple-torturing name. There were times I held Sage to my breasts and stroked her cheeks as she ate and grew teary at the experience. There were times I looked in the mirror at these minivan-sized milk bags and grew teary at the experience.

I’ve dealt with engorgement and plugged ducts and oversupply and the pain of pumping (Argh! Pumping!), and yet I know I’ve had it easy compared to so many.

(Humble bow to the lactivists here; not trying to be discouraging but I have to speak my truth.)

It’s a strange thing, this knowing that Sage is baby # last. It often makes me hyper-aware of the firsts that are lasts–of the fact that I won’t again say, “Look, she rolled over for the first time!” Or “Nate get in here, she’s sitting up!” But sometimes it’s just the opposite. I’m so busy just trying to keep up with the juggle, I don’t have time to reflect on the lasts at all–like 36 hours ago, when I last pulled Sage up to Old Reliable Righty, just for a moment, just for a little relief.

That was the end.

It came without fanfare or celebration or reflection or really too much thought at all. Mostly, I was thinking that I wanted a toasted bialy with some muenster cheese on it.

So now I take this time to say goodbye to the biological function of the boobs, to thank you with the utmost gratitude. You’ve served two kids very well and the nursing bra industry hasn’t complained either.

I can’t entirely say I’ll miss you though. Maybe a little. But not a lot. That’s the truth.

Nothing personal.

36 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one

Kyla October 17, 2007 at 3:34 am

I am so glad you found something that worked! And yes, that is exactly how the PR should work. Those last firsts are something…they just sneak up on you.

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tripleZmom October 17, 2007 at 3:35 am

I know what you mean. I finally weaned my (probably) youngest in June, and I only had a pang of sadness. Then I was just relieved.

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PDX Mama October 17, 2007 at 3:36 am

I think I used the previous version of that bottle w/my bottle-hating son. It worked OK, but we eventually just started him on sippy cups earlier than the normal. That version does look a little more user friendly. Kudos on the free goods!Glad the big wean is going smoothly and not too traumatic on all involved!

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Julie Pippert October 17, 2007 at 5:43 am

Excellent news!(And WTG to Sarah-of-the-email!)I was sorta kinda unaware that my last would be my last and I have some regrets, mostly along the lines of “no time to stop and smell enough of the roses to form a lasting impression of this Very Special Time.”My baby book goal now is to have one by the time she graduates high school.Or before a wedding.Whichever buys me more time. ;)

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Mahlers On Safari October 17, 2007 at 10:24 am

I love you for being true to your truths…

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Fairly Odd Mother October 17, 2007 at 11:41 am

I’m still stuck on “it looks like a sawed-off boob”. Ms Wordsmith, could you please help them find a new way of phrasing this for future emails?I’m a bit sad about the weaning business, and fully understand your ‘she’s my last’ thoughts. Now my boobs are mere sex objects (and not that exciting ones at that). It doesn’t help that my 3yo sticks his hand down my shirts and asks, sweetly, “Ba ba?” and I have to say, “No honey, sorry, they are broken”. But that is what I get for nursing him past 2—he ‘gets’ that they aren’t for him anymore. Hugs to Sage!

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Cheryl October 17, 2007 at 11:42 am

May your milk dry up quickly and without you having to stuff cabbage leaves in your bra and then walking around like Xena, Warrior Mom, with the breast armor.

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Blog Antagonist October 17, 2007 at 12:03 pm

Like Julie, I thought I would have one more, and so, I sometimes feel that I didn’t properly savor the special closeness of breastfeeding. But really, when I stop to think about it, breastfeeding Diminutive One was an exercise in frustration and then I realize, I don’t miss it that much. I’m glad it was a painless transition for you and Sage.

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Nancy October 17, 2007 at 12:36 pm

You’re totally right about that being perfect and useful PR. I left a rant on MGM’s post yesterday — so tired of being pitched useless products on my blog, things that have nothing to do with me.I’m glad you and Sage made it through the transition just fine.

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Heather October 17, 2007 at 1:30 pm

I breastfed both of my kids, so I’m a supporter of it. But I totally get what you are saying about missing it and not. After four years straight of having my body devoted to babies between pregnancy and nursing, it was nice when my body became all mine again. The closing of one chapter is only the opening of another!

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PunditMom October 17, 2007 at 1:54 pm

It’s hard for me not to get a bit teary when I read about other people’s experiences like this. Mostly, because I never had them and wanted them. As a mom by adoption, I don’t ever want PunditGirl to think she was a “second choice” because we tried to get pregnant before we adopted her.Most days, I’m selfishly glad I never had to give my body over to a baby. Once in a while, like now, I get all misty about having missed it.

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kittenpie October 17, 2007 at 3:00 pm

Yeah, I am now looking at the last couple of sippy cups still in rotation and wondering… but they aren’t marked for plastic type. It does mean I am going to get rid of the bottles I saved. And that if we have another, I’ll be praying that much harder for the breastfeeding to take properly!

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Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog October 17, 2007 at 3:48 pm

Sigh… all of the firsts are the lasts… I get that completely. I try not to stifle my youngest, to keep her a “Baby” but it’s hard. Especially when she’s pulling away from me WAY younger than her brothers did! NOT FAIR.

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slouchy October 17, 2007 at 4:12 pm

Y’know, like everything, BF is sometimes very, very good, and sometimes very, very bad.And why not? From a baby’s perspective, however, I’m thinking it’s all good. Until one day, when it’s not.I hate dichotomies.

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mothergoosemouse October 17, 2007 at 4:35 pm

Weaning for me with both girls was very similar. They both gave it up (yes, that’s right – it wasn’t a strike, so lactivists begone), and feedings naturally dwindled as their interest did.But I’m really interested in the bottle recommendation, since I threw out all of the old ones and will have to completely replenish the stock.

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Zellmer October 17, 2007 at 4:42 pm

Glad you’re in a good state of mind about it. I found the end of breastfeeding to be very sad. Especially when I realized how quickly you get reinstated into the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

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Reff October 17, 2007 at 6:14 pm

Oh good another posting about GH! Mom-101 and Fairly Odd Mother, please buy your husbands an Xbox so we can play Rockband. Then we’ll have fun friends and rock parties like this < HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CicQxDvx150" REL="nofollow">one<>.And enough about babies…b-o-r-i-n-g! ;-)

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Patois October 17, 2007 at 6:19 pm

I had the same feelings with the last baby. Sometimes I’m nostaligic for it; more often, I’m not.

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BOSSY October 17, 2007 at 7:35 pm

Bossy’s Note To Self: Blog really nice things about potential Cuisinart purchase.

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Gray Matter October 17, 2007 at 8:41 pm

Like everything with motherhood I found that my best laid plans were irrelevant…I only got to breast feed for three months assuming, once I went back to work full time, I’d continue to do mornings and evenings. My milk vanished immediately. There were times months later where the urge to put my son to my breast were so overwhelming and primal. Oh well, the antedote to control-freakism IS motherhood.

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Emily October 17, 2007 at 8:43 pm

A mighty wean’s a-blowin’, it’s kickin’ up the sand, it’s blowin’ out a message to every woman, child and man…Ok now that I’ve got that out, I can go read the rest of the post.

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Lawyer Mama October 17, 2007 at 8:54 pm

Ahhhh. I never knew that the last time was going to be the last time and that made me a bit sad too.I’m so glad the new bottle is working for you! WTG, Adiri!

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Bitsy Parker October 17, 2007 at 8:56 pm

So, uh, what is a bialy? Sounds medical?

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Mom101 October 17, 2007 at 9:09 pm

Oh, Bitsy, my Jewish NY heart is breaking. < HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bialy" REL="nofollow">Bialy, defined<>

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Phoenix October 17, 2007 at 9:36 pm

Wait a minute, Sage sits? And we haven’t seen the picture? ;) Nice post.

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gingajoy October 18, 2007 at 10:13 am

those boob bottles are da bomb. they’re all over here in the UK. And you can *put them in the dishwasher?* That makes me even happier.I had exactly the same experience with Sam–be being baby # last also–a sense of “I must soak this up. MUST! this is the last time I’ll be squirting milk down the sink or wagging a nipple in his face.” I quit right after blogher–well, he did really, and like you, I was not too broken up about it. I am broken up about the newfound floppiness factor though.

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mrs. q. October 18, 2007 at 2:27 pm

Hurrah for four months. Some people don’t get past four days. I got to 14 months with the little guy (I was only working part-time); not sure how long Phe will go, but we’ll see. I canot imagine doing it while working full time. No way. Pumping is a major PITA to keep up an all-day supply. (And funny, Jamie actually updated me on this when he crawled into bed last night. And I went, “So Sage is eating from a bottle OK?” Nice pillow talk, eh?)

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b*babbler October 18, 2007 at 2:35 pm

I think it’s nice that you’re able to focus on your “last” moments. I was completely taken aback when the Peanut decided to wean. If only I had known it was the last time, I probably wouldn’t have been so eager to wrap up for the night.But you know what they say about wishes…

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Jennifer Doyle October 18, 2007 at 7:24 pm

Hope the boobs adjust quickly!So glad you posted this, I think people need to hear it.

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Moments Of Mom October 19, 2007 at 4:23 pm

I hope you weaning continues smoothly and that bottle works for as long as you need it to….That being said, it’s an unusual bottle shape, but if it works it works and I’ll keep that in mind if I ever need one again…..

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Magpie October 19, 2007 at 4:26 pm

Aww…bittersweet.Glad the bottle worked though.

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Damselfly October 20, 2007 at 2:49 am

I couldn’t wait to wean Fly from Week One. (I’m with you on the pumping! Ugh.) And yet now I am wondering how to end it. Nursing is great and wonderful, but sometimes I really want a full-caffeine latte with real milk.

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Janet October 22, 2007 at 5:25 pm

I, too, thank you for your honesty. I was feeling like a horrible mother with my first child until a good friend of mine, whom I consider SuperMom Extraordinaire, informed me that she hated breastfeeding (and I think she did it for over a year). My daughter nursed until she was 18 months old (and I was 6-months pregnant with # last). She gave it up on her own, although I fully expected her to resume once the new baby was born and started nursing. She was interested in watching, but not partaking. I knew William would be baby # last (I was 43 when he was born) but I ended up having to wean him at 16 months because I had to go on an arthritis medication that is NOT compatible with breastfeeding. He was pretty close to done anyway, but he still wakes up at his usual nursing times (8 months later)and drinks some juice. Both of them bit, pinched, scratched, kicked, and carried on so much that we scared a number of pregnant women and young mothers. No I don’t miss nursing. I now sport two used tea bags where my perky a-cups used to be, but I figure at 45 that probably would have happened anyway. Right?

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TB October 22, 2007 at 7:15 pm

All the firsts are lasts for us since Myles is likely going to be our only child. (I don’t think I can handle another round of infertility) So I know what you mean. And as for breastfeeding, I thought I’d only do it six months. Now I’m thinking I may go on for another six or longer because I don’t want to give it up yet because he’s my only one.Hope the transition is smooth and painless for you. As another super lactator, I feel you on the overproduction and engorgement. Won’t it be great not to have to wear a nursing bra 24/7? Aaaahhhhh, the relief.

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Staci October 27, 2007 at 9:40 pm

Weaning my first baby was so so sad to me. Weaning the last baby was a huge relief. Even though I knew he would be my last baby, I felt more like, THANK GOD THIS IS THE LAST TIME I’LL BE NURSING SOMEONE! I am a sick woman, I think.

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Suburban Turmoil November 7, 2007 at 7:32 pm

Good old Bruiser is in the process of weaning HIMSELF. He will only eat on one side now (and yes, I look really, um, interesting), and he’s using his eight teeth to maul my nipple. He’s 22 lbs and I’m thinking I’ve pretty much done all I could do with this breastfeeding situation! Good Lord! Glad to hear I’m not alone! Here’s to selling those Medela motors on eBay! :)

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