When you get a pitch from Lucky Charms, you answer it. Because as long-time blog readers know, the Lucky Charms guy is God.
Basically they added a new marshmallow to their cereal and would I like a free sample to find out what it is? How could I resist! My mind reeled at all the outstanding marshmallow shape possibilities:
The number seven?
A gold dubloon?
A skull and crossbones?
A scale representation of the Great Barrier Reef?
A crop circle?
An afro pick?
The virgin mary?
A DNA double helix?
The Microsoft logo?
Van Gogh’s ear?
(General Mills, if you ever want me in on your new product ideation sessions, I’m available.)
Nope, wrong on all counts. It was an hourglass.
But a magic hourglass with the power to control time.
Evidently it also has the power to turn the entire box of cereal into crack, because it’s the first thing my daughter woke up asking for every morning until it was gone.
By the way, you know you’re getting old when you wish that the Lucky Charms cereal to marshmallow ratio was weighted a little more heavily towards the cereal.
Apologies to all the other PR pitches which did not make it onto my blog this week, including but not limited to a “me time” promotion at a coffee bar on the other side of the country, the chance to win a body and face treatment at the value of ___ (It literally said that. She forgot to fill in the blank), car wax to “keep the interior and exterior of your vehicle in tip top shape, but also work wonders to restore, protect and shine household surfaces”, a coupon for diapers, a new towel, delicious meal and snack recipes, six books, five new websites or blogs, two upload your own video about blahblahblah for a chance to win blahblah contests, a new coffee beverage, some air fresheners, and gum.
I will put you back into the PR pitch fishbowl and draw a new lucky winner to post about at random next week. So keep those pitches coming! I can’t get enough. Especially the ones that address me as “Dear Julie.”
It does help if you have God affiliated with your company.