About Me Contact Me Popular Posts Other Writing Press Put Me To Work

BlogHer ’08 Conference FAQ

7.15.2008

in Uncategorized

I'm Speaking at BlogHer 08

What do I wear?
Sweetney will be wearing a prom dress and I suggest you follow suit.

How will I meet people?
There is a secret handshake that will be revealed if you know the secret code word. You can find it out at the secret party that everyone else got an invitation to besides you.

Do I have to go to every panel?
They’re actually less panels than court-required classes to keep some of us out of prison. Attendance will be taken and violators’ names will be projected on the ballroom screen and shamed.

Will I get free stuff?
Yes, and you are obliged to complain about it in return.

What is the weather like in San Francisco?
It gets very hot in July, like 105, 110. Celsius. Like I said, hot.

How will I get to the hotel from the airport?
Sadly, there is no transportation in most large North American cities. But on the positive side, by the end of the weekend you’ll be in the best shape of your life.

Isn’t this all just some big man-hating thing?
Oh yes. In fact one of the attending male guests will be drawn at random, then sacrificed. It’s always the highlight of the weekend next to the bra-burning mixer and armpit hair challenge.

Will Dooce talk to me?
If you can spot her. She’ll be the one walking around with a big black rectangular bar over her eyes.

Will Mom-101 talk to me?
Probably not.

What if I show up with a booger hanging out of my nose and everyone calls me “Booger Nose” all weekend?
You will blog about it and find instant popularity.

34 shards of brilliance… read them below or add one

BHJ July 15, 2008 at 2:07 pm

Getting sacrificed by a bunch of Mom Bloggers would be so hot.

Reply

Marty, a.k.a. canape July 15, 2008 at 2:42 pm

I didn’t try the booger last year, but I did walk through the conference center with my the back of my skirt tucked into my panties.Sadly, it did not help my popularity. I think people were just intimidated by my buns of steel.

Reply

Backpacking Dad July 15, 2008 at 3:20 pm

My wife says I can be sacrificed as long as I’m home by midnight.

Reply

Astrogirl426 July 15, 2008 at 3:26 pm

I am currently fighting the evil pangs of jealousy (and the humidity – oy) that I won’t be attending BlogHer. Hope you enjoy – wait, what am I saying? Any event that includes wine, human sacrifices, and bra burning is guaranteed to be a hit. Can’t wait to hear about every last humiliating detail!

Reply

Mrs. Schmitty July 15, 2008 at 3:41 pm

I wish I could go burn my bra and be snubbed by you. That would be awesome. Can I take you up on it next year? Hopefully.

Reply

Fairly Odd Mother July 15, 2008 at 3:47 pm

I love that Dooce will be wearing her eye bar. At least you’ll know which one is her. And, you forgot to mention that only “A” list bloggers can sit together and they will scorn any “B” listers who try to communicate with them. Just like high school. Sigh. Sounds like fun. I’d love to see a male sacrifice.

Reply

Magpie July 15, 2008 at 4:11 pm

I feel so much better.

Reply

motherbumper July 15, 2008 at 4:13 pm

You forgot you’ve got to find the first light-weight who passes out after the obligatory drinking challenge and < HREF="http://mom-101.blogspot.com/2007/07/putstuffonherbadmothercom.html" REL="nofollow">PUT STUFF ON THEM for post fodder<>.

Reply

Procrastamom July 15, 2008 at 5:25 pm

See, that’s why I’m not coming…for all those reasons right there. I knew the rumours were true!

Reply

crazedparent/charlene July 15, 2008 at 6:07 pm

i have my fake booger ready.

Reply

Marilyn July 15, 2008 at 7:52 pm

I love it. Everyone’s fears confirmed in one fell swoop! See ya all Friday!

Reply

Lara July 15, 2008 at 9:40 pm

i absolutely cannot wait to wander around insecurely and be completely ignored by you and the other “cool kids.” seriously, it’ll be awesome. just like middle school was.

Reply

the weirdgirl July 15, 2008 at 10:27 pm

Aw now, you’re just being evil.

Reply

Julie Pippert July 16, 2008 at 12:38 am

Exqueeze me, Liz, but I do believe this might be…satire?I’m pretty sure there is a moratorium on satire this week.I suppose if you’re being honest or facetious or sarcastic it is all right.Otherwise, I’ll have to blog about it and I hear there is no popularity like the insta-popularity of Big Blogger Baiting.Even more than booger blogging.(I want you to know I typo’d Bib instead of Big and changed it, but it was making me LOL.)P.S. I know the secret handshake. I saw Paret Trap with Lindsey Lohan so HA.

Reply

Kristen July 16, 2008 at 12:48 am

oh. my. God. This. This is why I love you. Wait?? There are parties? Did I miss something????

Reply

Veronica @ Toddled Dredge July 16, 2008 at 1:02 am

Money and pregnancy will keep me from Blogher. Although maybe I could hvae given birth on the conference floor while passing a hat. I think that would get me noticed. There’s always next year.

Reply

Lawyer Mama July 16, 2008 at 1:03 am

Dude! You forgot to tell them about the initiation ritual. You know the one where we make all the newbies wear their underwear on outside their clothes (after we burn the bras, of course) and walk backwards for the entire first day.

Reply

Belinda July 16, 2008 at 1:09 am

Soooo sorry I have to stay home.

Reply

Motherhood Uncensored July 16, 2008 at 3:11 am

Hahahaha.Yeah. That’s all I got.

Reply

VDog July 16, 2008 at 3:42 am

Even if you won’t talk to me, could I get a follow on Twitter? I’m being totally serious.What?Seriously.For reals!Bee-tee-dub, me n’ the C-list girls are gonna talk smack about the A-list girls the whole time, k? Work for you?

Reply

FearandParentinginLasVegas July 16, 2008 at 4:36 am

I am so the Kathy Griffin of mommybloggers. Oh well, I suppose it’s better than being Corey Haim.

Reply

Lady M July 16, 2008 at 5:46 am

Also,Q: Will *anyone* talk to me?A: No. We will all be tapping away at our laptops and sending tweets.

Reply

Moments Of Mom July 16, 2008 at 12:18 pm

You must post the male sacrifice on Youtube.HAHAHA@!! Now that, I’d love to see!

Reply

Amelia Sprout July 16, 2008 at 1:54 pm

Life is so NOT fair! Anyone want to stuff me in their suitecase? I’ll pay the oversize baggage fee.

Reply

Jennifer Suarez July 16, 2008 at 2:01 pm

LOL OMG I love your blog, you crack me up!Someday I’d love to check out blogher in person!

Reply

Velma July 16, 2008 at 3:01 pm

Whew! I was worried there for a minute, because I thought you weren’t going to cover the booger possibility. Now that I know what to do, though, I’m feeling much calmer about the whole thing. Now I’m off to contemplate my imminent internet stardom and thinking I should change the name of my blog to “The Booger Queen.”

Reply

Shamelessly Sassy July 16, 2008 at 5:27 pm

I heard the beds were going to be short sheeted and people were going to put cellophane on the toilet seats.

Reply

Christina July 16, 2008 at 7:25 pm

Hahaha! Love it.You forgot to add that you can win instant popularity by blogging on Thursday night about those damn mommybloggers and how much you hate them and wish they wouldn’t sit together in their little groups and be so loud. That is a guaranteed success. (Just borrow Dooce’s little black rectangle for your eyes the rest of the time there.)

Reply

dorothy July 16, 2008 at 9:02 pm

Could we just sacrifice Corey Haim and call it a day?

Reply

Josette at Halushki July 16, 2008 at 9:24 pm

I won’t be there. But if you check my blog on Sunday morning, I will have a very special message about Hope, Change, and Unity for everyone at BlogHer.You’re welcome.P.S. I CAN’T believe Sweetney stole my idea to wear a prom dress! I’d tell her to her face, but I am afraid of her. She is from Baltimore, don’t you know. ;-)

Reply

Anonymous July 17, 2008 at 12:12 am

Thanks:) I needed something fun to read as I frantically pack for tomorrow.Fourth Breakfast

Reply

nonlineargirl July 17, 2008 at 5:27 am

Crap, I _just_ sold my prom dress. Guess I will have to wear a bridesmaid dress instead.

Reply

Grim Reality Girl July 18, 2008 at 1:59 am

Wish I could be there to be there — even if I was the Booger Nose Chick. Enjoy yourselves! Color me jealous!

Reply

MadMad July 21, 2008 at 4:15 pm

Aw, man! I didn’t know there’d be male sacrificing, or I would have made more of an effort to go!

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: