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I see London, I see abject humiliation…

“We had a little mishap this morning,” my sitter told me.

What kind of mishap?

“Well, the stroller wasn’t working,” she said, “and I looked down to see what was happening and it was the wheel. Something was in the wheel. And so we bent down to try and fix it and I realized all tangled up on the wheel was…well…

Yes?

“It was your underwear.”

That’s not embarrassing.

“Yes, it was a big mess. and it was all around the wheel and I had to pull and pull and it was so tangled, all wrapped up on the brake and around the wheel, and Thalia tried to help me and we both pulled and then, finally, I had to just cut it off.”

Excellent!

“And right then, the super came out of the building to see if he could help. And so I quickly blocked the wheel and said, ‘nothing here! I’m okay!’ because I didn’t want him to see…”

My underwear.

“Right. But he saw it.”

Well, was it…a nice pair?

“They were lacy. Yes. Pretty nice. I think it was a thong.”

{ 56 comments… add one }

  • Angela 9.02.2009, 12:44 am

    LOL! Now that's a story your babysitter will be blogging/tweeting/etc. Your underwear is famous!

  • Pamela 9.02.2009, 12:46 am

    Two things to be thankful for. 1) it wasn't YOU pushing the stroller at that particular time. 2) they were nice panties. I don't think I HAVE any nice ones, at the moment. Of course, you're now down one pair of nice underwear. :-( Hilarious, though!

  • Bill 9.02.2009, 12:47 am

    This post should get you some interesting search terms by morning! *laugh*

  • the new girl 9.02.2009, 12:50 am

    Oh. DAAAAAMN.

  • Jill 9.02.2009, 12:55 am

    Aw man! That earns you a double dose of wine tonight for sure!

    Your babysitter sounds nice, though, so you've got that going for you :-)

  • Loralee Choate 9.02.2009, 1:00 am

    Yeah, so you probably don't remember meeting me n' stuff but it is official that I love you now. For reals.

  • Robyn 9.02.2009, 1:02 am

    HA! I have to say, I don't think my thongs (or really any undergarment that was not on my person at the time) have ever been anywhere near my stroller. Makes me think of that post you wrote awhile back about having suburban envy. Perhaps that apartment of yours IS a little cramped….

  • Bill 9.02.2009, 1:04 am

    It just dawned on me – she THINKS it was a thong? They must have been pretty messed up if she couldn't tell!

  • julie 9.02.2009, 1:07 am

    Love it. Love your babysitter, too.

  • Lunatic Family Tree 9.02.2009, 1:10 am

    And did you put the requisite quarter in the therapy jar? I mean, there's always a chance it won't be remembered; then again, it's easy to imagine, from the future analyst's couch, “So see, there was this one time I was with my babysitter…”

  • Meredith 9.02.2009, 1:16 am

    Oh my god that is PRICELESS. Because of course the super had to come out to join the party. Motherhood is such pride killer.

  • My Semblance of Sanity 9.02.2009, 1:34 am

    PRICELESS!

    Makes ya wanna go without, huh?

    LOL!

  • SoMo 9.02.2009, 1:59 am

    I think you need to stop thinking of only yourself and start wondering why your underwear was trying to escape.

  • Heather @Critter Chronicles 9.02.2009, 2:05 am

    At least you weren't present for the humiliation. At my birthday party earlier this summer (at which about ten of my friends and their husbands, plus our male teenage babysitter were present), one of my friends attempted to pick up my two-year-old son. And when she did, she felt something soft and silky around his waist. She lifted up his shirt and found… a pair of my underwear! And not even clean ones – used ones from the day before that he'd taken out of my hamper and put on himself so he could “Be like Mommy”. That was fun. And not at all embarrassing.

  • Elizabeth @claritychaos 9.02.2009, 2:31 am

    I am laughing out loud and dying of embarrassment for you…and because it is causing me to relive an episode I had forgotten until just.this.moment.

    When I was 22, my husband and I lived in this old house broken up into 3 apartments, 2 of which were occupied by super cute, stylish, gay men. We shared a laundry room.

    One day I came home from work to find my bright orange Victoria Secret COTTON BRIEFS (yeah, pretty much Granny Panties that I wore during certain times of the month) HANGING ON THE DOORKNOB OF MY APARTMENT!!!! yes, one of the cute boys had found them in the drier, and being the only girl in the house, I could not deny that they were mine.

    Needless to say, my housemates had expected better choice in undergarments from me. Good lord, I had blocked that incident from my mind.

  • Redneck Mommy 9.02.2009, 2:32 am

    And this Liz, is why I refuse to wear underwear unless absolutely necessary.

    Not that my panties have been caught up in a stroller wheel.

    But they may have fallen out in front of some very important businessmen when I reached into my jacket for a tissue and a wad of lace fell to the ground. Turns out somebodies child *my damn husband's* grabbed my skivvies alongside a hankerchief and didn't realize it.

    Nor did I until my cheeks were as pink as the lace of my lady ginch.

    Gah.

  • Marinka 9.02.2009, 2:38 am

    Your response is, “That's impossible, I don't wear underwear. Must have been Dad101's”.

  • Grizzly Kitteh 9.02.2009, 2:56 am

    At least you weren't wearing them when he saw them :D

  • Ms. Kathy 9.02.2009, 2:57 am

    Too funny! I love your “yes aaand?? Was it a nice pair??” Awesome.

  • beyond 9.02.2009, 3:07 am

    funny story. and i think that sitter is a keeper.

  • Amelia Sprout 9.02.2009, 3:13 am

    Thank you. You never fail to have the right story when I need it. Day just got much much better.

  • C @ Kid Things 9.02.2009, 3:28 am

    Am I the only one wondering how your underwear got wrapped around the wheel in the first place?

  • Amber 9.02.2009, 3:30 am

    You know, is sounds like your underwear has it all over my 5-year-old completely stretched out maternity panties. Totally.

    I clearly need to buy some new underwear in case this happens to me.

  • laurie 9.02.2009, 3:33 am

    I was imagining some things about those underwear, yes I was (knowing none were likely true, based on any number of humiliating moments in my life, a couple probably involving underwear, tampons falling out of purses, etc., you name it.)

    Good looking out, babysitter. :)

  • Being Me 9.02.2009, 3:35 am

    this is hilarious..I would have liked to see the Super's face !!!!

  • Random Chick 9.02.2009, 3:35 am

    Now that's a great story.

  • Julie @ The Mom Slant 9.02.2009, 4:18 am

    Tacy once insisted on wearing a pair of my underwear over her diaper but under her pants to day care. I considered letting her caregiver just discover it, but decided it would be less humiliating to just 'fess up in advance.

    It was a thong too.

  • Lauren 9.02.2009, 6:31 am

    Fabulous. My current granny panties would not just wrap around the wheel, they're cover the entire stroller.

  • Anonymous 9.02.2009, 11:56 am

    I needed that laugh today. Thank you.

  • Sarah Shafer 9.02.2009, 11:58 am

    That is so funny! Just be thankful they weren't gross old granny panties :)

  • Jewels 9.02.2009, 12:17 pm

    HILARIOUS! Thanks for letting us laugh at you … errrr… with you!

  • Amy @ Suburban Kvetch 9.02.2009, 12:31 pm

    OMGoodness, aren't you a dear for sharing so much of yourself with us? I needed that laugh this morning!

    What's next?

  • Motherhood Uncensored 9.02.2009, 1:23 pm

    Shit. At least it was a lacy thong.

    Although if it wasn't, I would have claimed it was someone else's until I died.

  • PunditMom 9.02.2009, 2:39 pm

    Your life is so much more interesting than mine! Although, a couple of weeks ago, a pair of my “lacy” undies ended up in Mr. PunditMom's workout shorts. He was on the treadmill at the gym at the time. :(

  • Kami 9.02.2009, 3:16 pm

    Just when you think you're at the point when alone, on a New York City street, you could be mistaken for a childless, single woman, your panties get caught on the stroller wheel. And back to reality you're flung. It's like snot on professional attire, baby. The scarlet M.

  • Binkytowne 9.02.2009, 3:40 pm

    Hope they were clean! :)

  • Karen 9.02.2009, 4:06 pm

    I keep my stroller in the car/garage and my underwear in my closet (or in my pants). Just curious, where do you keep your underwear and stroller? And how would it get that tangled up that it would need to be cut? I think a visual is in order.

    I'm actually kind of surprised that my husband hasn't thought to do this with my granny panties now that I seem to wear them most days…

  • Denice 9.02.2009, 4:12 pm

    Well, at least it was a nice pair of underwear, and you weren't actually there in the flesh to suffer the first-hand humiliation. Always look on the bright side of life…

  • Isabel Kallman @AlphaMom 9.02.2009, 4:54 pm

    girl, it could have been SO much worse.

  • Courtney 9.02.2009, 6:36 pm

    Hysterical! Thank you for that!

  • Mom101 9.02.2009, 6:40 pm

    Karen, I'm in a small 2-bedroom Brooklyn apartment. No garage. I guess my stroller and my underwear are stored much closer together than yours.

  • NG 9.02.2009, 8:57 pm

    I've been missing a pair of underwear. Never thought about checking the stroller wheels…

  • Baby in Broad 9.02.2009, 9:42 pm

    Glad it was a nice pair. (Make lemonade, right?) That would have been my major concern. Apart from it being underwear in the first place.

  • highlyirritable 9.02.2009, 10:08 pm

    I feel your pain. Recently I accidentally flung an old pair at a department store sales clerk while returning a broken fan. They got into the fan box when my laundry tipped over in the van.

    Did I mention I live in a small town. It'll probably make the local paper.

    Good times.

  • Elaine A. 9.03.2009, 1:52 am

    Whoopsie!

  • Carrie @ Who Knew? 9.03.2009, 2:37 am

    Better than grannie panties. But still, yikes.

  • J at www.jellyjules.com 9.03.2009, 3:23 am

    At least they were (I hope) CLEAN. So you see, it could always be worse.

  • cheeky's mom 9.03.2009, 10:33 pm

    wow, a thong. THAT is impressive. i'm glad to be out of the stroller-dependence. i think the last thing caught in our stroller wheel was dog crap.

  • Magpie 9.04.2009, 1:13 am

    Awesome.

  • Sarah 9.04.2009, 2:18 am

    After a long day of santizing the house (and myself) from kid #2 having the stomach bug and not wanting kid #1 to get it…priceless humor.

    Thank you again Liz.

  • lpearson 9.04.2009, 2:55 am

    I can take this one humiliating step further. I'm standing with the dog in front of our apartment and the dog, ahem, “eliminates” a pair of my gnawed up knickers in front of our doorman and neighbors.

    Worse part, it wasn't even our dog. We were dog sitting, or as my husband now calls it, dogshitting.

  • Corina 9.04.2009, 4:47 am

    Well, I guess you can say that you have an intimate relationship with the sitter. Very funny.

  • Wicked Step Mom 9.04.2009, 3:05 pm

    At least it was a nice pair. :)

  • Bobbi Janay 9.09.2009, 3:39 am

    Nice.

  • Lorraine 9.09.2009, 3:55 pm

    Oh my dear, thank you for this laff–I truly required it this morning. Off now to lock down my vast underpants.

  • Boston Mamas 9.10.2009, 4:38 am

    At least it was a pretty pair… which reminds me that my underwear collection could stand to be upgraded… -Christine

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