The beginning of the end

Five minutes ago I received a call from my mother that my grandmother has suffered a massive stroke. She is on life support, to whatever degree that means anything at all when you’re nearly 92.

I’m devastated. Simply distraught and devastated and trying to get my bearings in this all, because it’s always a surprise. Even when it’s not entirely a surprise at all.

Thalia, seeing me sobbing on the phone raced over and said, you’re the best mommy I ever had, her stock line for making me smile. She has a knack for that.

Just like her great-grandmother.

Momsie, wherever your spirit is right now, I hope it’s dancing.

And I hope that this ends quickly and quietly without much fuss. It’s not like you to let us make too much of a fuss over you.

{61 Comments}

61 thoughts on “The beginning of the end”

  1. Not sure there's anything that a total stranger would be able to say to ease your pain, but I figure a few keystrokes can't hurt.

    I've read your blog for a long while now, and have always loved when you would talk about your grandmother. She's obviously a very special woman. And obviously, it runs in the family.

    I hope that things run a course that is as painless as possible for all involved. And know that you and your family are being thought of, and are loved, by a stranger in Minnesota. (And I'm sure in many other places.)

    Don't be afraid to lean where you need to. That's what friends are there for.

    <3

  2. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I'll pray that whatever happens, happens quickly and quietly and that she's comfortable. ((HUGS))

  3. I am so so sorry. It is such a blessing that you've had so many wonderful years with your grandmother. My heart is with you and your family.

  4. I'm so sorry for your grandmother, for you and your family. Thinking of all of you tonight.

  5. I am so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers. Your grandmother sounds like an amazing human being. I too will be praying for her comfort.

  6. Your stories and photos of your grandmother have always made me smile—-she is so obviously a lovely woman who has shaped many lovely women after her. I'm so sorry; may she be resting peacefully.

  7. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. We are all hugging you in our hearts and praying that this will end as easily and peacefully as possible.

  8. So very sorry to hear this news. My grandmother passed away somewhat suddenly almost six years ago, and i remember that devastating feeling all too well. You will be in my thoughts and hopes that this time is as comfortable as possible for her. Again, my sympathies to you and your family.

  9. I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts, and I'll hope for not too much fuss. Since it sounds as if that's what your great-grandmother would want.

  10. Lots of prayers for your Momsie and your family. May your many happy memories together bring you joy and comfort.

  11. I'm so sorry, I've been back and forth with a relative on a respirator myself for several months now. I'm so sorry – So sorry.

    Please take care of yourself too. Mostly I stop by and read but wanted to comment today

    Tracy

  12. Very same thing happened to me 4 years ago. Same age, same diagnosis – we were very close. I prayed for the same things as you, comfort and speediness. Thankfully both were answered.

    Even thinking about it and writing it now is making me tear up. I miss her so much but at the same time feel so lucky to have her as long as I did.

    My prayers are with you and your family.

  13. You are right – it's always a surprise even when it isn't. I'm so sorry and am thinking of you and your family. I know you will make sure your girls grow up remembering what a special woman your grandmother is, just like my mom did for us.

  14. Ah, damn it all to hell. I am so sorry to hear the bad news, Liz.

    And you're right. It's always a shock no matter what.

    Best to you.
    xo

  15. I have been thinking of you and your grandmother since I heard last night. My husband's grandmother, a wonderful woman the same age as your grandmother, passed away in November, and it was very hard on his family, and on him (though he was attempting to be very manly about it and therefore would not admit it was hard).

    But what did make it easier on everyone was thinking about the fullness of the life she had led, and the legacy she had left behind in her family and friends, whose lives she had all enriched. Having read about your grandmother here I know she lived the same kind of life– a life that improved nearly every other life it touched. I only hope that when I am 92 someone might be able to say the same about me.

  16. I'm sorry to hear it. I hope God is conforting yours and your family's hearts… Love and Prayers, R.

  17. I'm so, so sorry Liz and I'm wishing you and your family peace right now. None of this is easy, even when expected. {hugs} -Christine

  18. Thinking of you. I often think that we are a lucky generation, many of us given so many years with our grandparents. But that makes letting go so hard. Warm thoughts coming to you from Canada.

  19. I'm a relatively new reader to your blog. Just would like to extend my empathy with you during this time.

  20. Liz, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I'll be thinking of you guys and sending love your way.

  21. I hope the memories and the inspiration of your grandmother will help heal the pain of your heartbreak. How lucky you are to have had such a wonderful women in your life for the time you had. I’m so sorry for you and your family, and I will keep you in my prayers. She must of been so proud of your mom for raising such an amazing daughter…will be thinking about you…
    Beth

  22. Part of the pain of being a grown up is being forced to deal with grown up stuff like this. It totally sucks. I'm thinking of you guys. Hang in there.

  23. I am thinking about you and your family. I just lost my own grandmother a few weeks ago and miss her terribly… YOu are in my prayers.

  24. Liz-

    I'm so sorry to hear your news. What I can tell you is that your grandmother's spirit will live inside of you and your daughters for many generations to come. I can tell you that because every night when I cuddle up with my grandma's crochet blanket she made in the 70's or smile at the ring my mom just gave to me (that was hers) I know in my heart that Grandma Dora will forever looking out for me and my family. I'm sure Momsie will do the same.

    You're in my thoughts!

    xo
    Beth

  25. I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother.
    Will say a prayer for her soul.
    May you find peace through through your time of grief.

    BM

  26. Wishing your grandmother and your entire family comfort and peace during this challenging time.

    Also, “Momsie” is one of the best names I've ever heard for a grandmother!

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