The logic of the 3 year old

Substitute all Ls and Rs for W’s for the full effect.

I want someone to sleep with me.
Thalia can sleep with you, Sage.
I want someone tall to sleep with me.
Thalia is taller than you.
I want someone who is the same tall as you to sleep with me.

No, you can’t have a cookie. Remember, you didn’t finish your breakfast so no snacks. 
But the cookie is not my snack. It can be my lunch.

We’re playing orphan.
What’s an orphan?
Someone with no mommy and no daddy and no house.

I really need a Band Aid.
What do you need a Band Aid for?
For this cut I have.
That’s not a cut, Sage. There’s no cut there.
Yes, it’s red and it’s bleeding. You said if it’s red and it’s bleeding it’s a cut.
Well, I’m looking and I don’t see red or bleeding. 
It’s bleeding on the inside.

I want to sit in the front seat of the car.
You have to sit in the back, Sage. 
But I want to drive.
You need to sit in your seat. Anyway, your feet can’t touch the pedals.
I will use my hands.

Can I have French fries for dinner?
No honey, you had them with lunch. 
But that wasn’t on this day.
Yes. Yes it was. It was today at lunchtime, remember?
But it wasn’t in a cup. Can I have French fries in a cup?
No, you can’t have them at all. You already had some today.
But…but I can’t feel them anymore.

Want me to kiss your boo-boo and make it better?
No because it doesn’t hurt now so don’t kiss it or it will make it hurt.

Finish your sandwich please.
I am not hungry.
That’s fine, but no ice cream.
I am only hungry for ice cream.

{46 Comments}

46 thoughts on “The logic of the 3 year old”

  1. When I was three I once told my parents and several of their friends that my doll had 'Malaria on his testicles' during a dinner party. (we were living in Africa at the time, hence the Malaria and I obviously had no idea what testicles were since it was a girl doll)
    They must have had a really really hard time not laughing.

  2. If Sage is anything like Laurel, you'll be hearing the “I want someone to sleep with me” for a looooong time.

    (Says the mom who currently has a 5.75 year old camped out on an air mattress at the foot of her bed…)

  3. Loved these….brought me back in time when I use to write down “Lanerisms”…Momsie, what if you die in the middle of a blink, are your eyes open or shut? Wonderful post.

  4. Now, I'm hungry for ice cream AND I think I need a bandaid, for my heart, because I'm all of a sudden missing having to replace r's and l's with w's, too 🙁

  5. When I was sometime around that age I apparently told my mom, when she was all dolled up for a night out, that she looked just like a barbie. she says its the best compliment she's ever recieved

  6. As always, you can make me laugh at work when I shouldn't be. Sounds so much like my 3 yo, they have their own kind of wisdom, that's for sure!

  7. So adorable. I miss that. 12-year-olds just don't say the same cute things, ya know? (Smartass is more like it) Although they still have the same fondness for French fries and cookies …

  8. I've had the same conversation with my almost-3 year old about driving, except that she accepted my explanation that she can't reach the pedals…. ohhhh, ok mommy, you can drive then. I've also had the “i'm only hungry for ice cream” conversation with her many times, the latest being this past weekend. 🙂

  9. LOL

    I like the cookie for lunch the most, I think.

    Three year olds are great fun. My husband calls me up at work now and then (he works from home so our son stays with him all day) because Rahul's come up with something that just begs a wider audience!

  10. If she's like this at 3 thirteen should be really interesting! Hope you are still blogging so we can all enjoy it!

  11. Most of her logic is very good! I laughed most at the first story because my nearly 3-year old is exactly like that.

    And I myself am usually only hungry for ice cream.

  12. (I also went ahead and took the liberty of pronouncing all of the “th” sounds as “f” sounds.

    Hope you're okay with that.)

  13. When my Squiblet stops saying “otay” for “okay” I shall weep. And the fact that “lemonade” comes out “memmalade” just makes me giggle…whatever will I do when he learns to speak clearly? I wiww juss hab to mate up fo it mysewf!! (I'm not nearly so cute, though).

  14. I can't feel my french fries anymore. Good god is she cute. (such a great age.)

    I love that you snagged these little gems and filed them away for posterity. Lovely.

    -elizabeth

  15. When my now-almost-six-year-old was about Sage's age, and wanted ice cream for dessert even though she had just finished telling us she was really full, rationalized it by saying that ice cream melts when you eat it, so it runs down into any of the little spaces that are left after you eat
    your food. Hard to argue with that logic!

  16. I'm only hungry for ice cream too. But alas, my figure doesn't let it be so… 😉

    These are so cute! I love what kids say.

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