I am looking at all these holiday gift lists put out by all the huge retailers, lately. They feature the so-called “hottest holiday toys and games of the seasons.” And besides the ones coming up on Cool Mom Picks (hint) I haven’t found one list that bears any resemblance to toys and games we would actually consider buying.
(With all due respect to Justin Beiber and his amazing growing empire of plastic crap.)
You want to know what kids are really into? For toddlers, refer back to my Too Old for Chutes + Ladders post. For older kids, here are the games my 4 and 6 year-old daughters have been overheard playing this week. Have at it, Fisher Price and Mattel new product development team. We’ll consider it my holiday gift to you.
We are In a Boat Surrounded by Sharks
Objective: Push the laundry basket to its breaking limit.
Diego the Cross-Dressing Rag Doll
Objective: Deny that it is a dress; IT’S A TUNIC.
Objective:Lead to a productive discussion with mommy and daddy as to the best age to have a baby. In NYC, the answer is 42.
Violet turns into a Blueberry
Objective: Put a balloon under a doll’s dress and roll her out the door
Humiliate the Cat
Objective: Humiliate the Cat using any means possible
The Orphan Shop
Objective: Buy some musical orphans, just like in the movie
Show Me Your Butt
Objective: Show people your butt.
I Tell a Riddle While You Tap Dance, Sage
Objective: Equal time
Jump in the Leaves at Papa’s House
Objective: Pretend to be a suburban kid
Chase the Chicken
Objective: Run around and chase the chicken “who is always Tibi. But don’t worry. She likes being the chicken.”
I am Jesus and you can be the Girl from Hanna Montana
Objective: Reenact the best parts of Godspell which mainly involves singing the first verse of Day by Day until Mommy’s ears bleed.
Pick Up all Those Toys Before I Count to Three
Objective: Just do it, please.
Which games am I missing that will be big at your house this holiday?