For the last six years, I’ve been writing a funny-mostly-only-to-me wrap up of the previous night’s Academy Awards. At least it’s funny the next morning. The following year, however, I read it back and am like, what the heck was I referring to? Alec Baldwin’s Ambien? What?
This year I’m turning my blog over to my daughters, who provided astute, descriptive, and honest red carpet commentary on Twitter last night. Then went to bed, fortunately before they had the chance to see J Lo’s nipples.
Please meet your hostesses:
Sage, 4. Remembers to put her underwear on facing the right way at least 5 days out of every week. Fond of stickers as fashion accessory. Believes one can never wear too many temporary tattoos and that any kitchen item can make a fabulous hat.
Thalia: Her dress is not that nice because this part in the front? Is too low and you can see her boobs.
Sage: She’s so pretty even if she breaks all her hair off. Her dress is so pretty like she’s having a wedding.
Thalia: I don’t really like the bottom of the dress because it’s too tight and might trip you
Sage: 30 Rock! I’ve heard of that show.
Sage: She’s so beautiful even if she was naked and wasn’t even wearing anything.
Thalia: I don’t like the top because you have to tie a big bow and it would distract me if I was wearing it.
Sage: She’s so pretty with her white dress. And it’s so long and I like her hair. It looks like Thalia’s friend Jillian.
Thalia: I like how her dress goes down but I think the sparkly belt is a little too much
Sage: He’s so handsome even if he breaks his nose.
Thalia: I really like her dress because it goes out a little on the skirt and it’s a little puffy. And it’s wavy.
Thalia: He’s a little weird but I like his suit.
Thalia: I LOVE HER DRESS! It is perfect with her hair because it’s puffy and her eyes are so beautiful.
Thalia: I like her because her name rhymes with quesadillas.
Top that, Joan Rivers.
[photos via e online, us weekly]