I Am Mother, Hear Me Yawn

Happy Mother’s Day everyone. This one’s for you.

I am mother, hear me yawn
I fell asleep with my bra on
And I woke up with a LEGO in my ear

It’s Mother’s Day so bring it on
Please let me sleep beyond the dawn,
Then  just lie and say you’ll do it for a year.

Oh yes I am strong
(Though I cannot hold my pee)
I wrote this song
In the darkness before three
Because of love, I can do anything
I am tired
I’m inexhaustible,
I am Mother

The kids will make me crayon cards
Then I will clean the crayons shards
And the glue stick on the couch and in their hair

I pray for one hour on my own
To watch a show that I’ve postponed
Or to read or nap or just be unaware

Oh yes I am strong
Just try an hour at Gymboree
Please pass the bong
(Don’t call CPS on me)
Because of love, I can do anything
I am tired
I’m inexhaustible,
I am Mother

I am Mother, watch and learn
All you newbies with concerns
The sooner you accept your fate you’ll be ahead

There’s no insurance, no sick pay
The saggy boobs are here to stay
Though who will see them when the baby’s in your bed?

Oh yes I am strong
Just ask my doula and OB
I could go on
Even Hillary’d agree
Because of love, I can do anything
I am tired
I’m inexhaustible,
I am Mother

Thanks, Helen Reddy. And my own mom. And everyone who’s ever parodied this song before. You’re my heroes.

{34 Comments}

34 thoughts on “I Am Mother, Hear Me Yawn”

  1. Your poem made me laugh out loud. I shared it with my hubby and 8 y/o. My 4y/o told me to stop talking! I relate to accepting my fate! Thank you for sharing this. And am really tempted to Facebook it on my No Mother’s Day.

  2. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers who became Superwoman in the most unexpected ways.

    I laughed at the LEGO part.

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