Some emails are too awesome not to share

You know that disclaimer written at the bottom of some emails? The one that says this email is only for the intended recipient and legal threats blah blah and here’s some more stuff that you will ignore anyway  and now this disclaimer is super long but the gist is don’t forward it and anyway we just paid for our lawyer’s kid’s college education by writing this, and whatever, have a nice day.

Well none of these had that at the bottom.

 

 

EXHIBIT A:

Dear Dad, when I think of you, I think ya know, your butt could really be a little cleaner. Happy Father’s Day!

 

EXHIBIT B:

The perfect Father’s Day gift for any father. Wait…except those secular ones. Crap, forgot about those.

 

EXHIBIT C:

Download our new child safety app, you clueless delusional jerk parent who has no idea what you’re doing.

 

EXHIBIT D:

The perfect name for a children’s line, if I’ve ever heard one.

 

 EXHIBIT E:

Scare tactics! Scare tactics!

iPads for children / 5 year-olds drinking and driving. And the world has a new perfect analogy.

EXHIBIT F:

Actually I’d like to help her. I just have no idea what she’s talking about.

{31 Comments}

31 thoughts on “Some emails are too awesome not to share”

    1. I was also pitched a Mother’s Day gift book that’s about how to stop being a helicopter mom. Can you imagine what a lovely token of your affection that one would be?

  1. I’m also hung up on wondering down a path. how could one purchase or take advice from someone whose English skills be struggling’ that bad?

    I would, however , love to purchase that fathering book as a gift for my ex-husband. You know, just to be passive aggressive.

  2. You KNOW, the t-shirt scarf with the HAIR PIECE that’s all the rage with the WalMart crowd. Psh. How is THAT not a Cool Mom Pick?

    And I think the only way to make that kid’s line more awesome would be to call it Inmate Bait

  3. I’m starting to get irritated with the judgmental nature of people proclaiming that tech is bad for children. Mostly I’d just like to get them into a room and introduce them to my son who’s learned more about loving to read and his ABCs, 123s and other important-to-learn things from our iPad than from any human teacher he’s had so far.

    Why? Because he understands it. Because of developmental issues, he doesn’t always understand people. So, until you come up with something better: My son’s iPod and iPad say “Bite me.”
    Karen recently posted..Why THIS mom didn’t meet her breastfeeding goals.My Profile

    1. Oh, agree. Because we moms who let our kids use an iPod or, horrors, watch tv, are too stupid to figure out we should turn it off now and again…grrr.

  4. I think you should put together a book that is like “Letters from a Nut”, but it’s all bad pitch emails from different companies along with commentary. You could ask a group of bloggers to all submit their best ones.
    Avitable recently posted..Testing . . . againMy Profile

  5. I didn’t realize that kids ‘WONDER’ down a dangerous path. I always assumed that they WANDERED down that dangerous path.

  6. After you’ve helped exhibit F, maybe you can search Amazon for the joke book I loved in grade school. It was really good!
    Frema recently posted..PokingMy Profile

  7. My kid wonders down dangerous paths all the time, actually. Like the other day when he said, “I wonder what sort of explosive would work best underwater?” Or “I wonder whether anyone has ever actually tried to take apart a whole bunch of smoke detectors to get the radioactive materials inside to build a nuclear power generator.”

    Somehow I don’t think banning him using from electronic media gadgets would stop all this dangerous wondering, though. As a matter of fact, he seems to have contracted this wondering tendency of his from reading these totally non-electronic devices called books.

    I suppose we could set all his books on fire, but at this point, that might just encourage him.
    Jaelithe recently posted..Keep in ReachMy Profile

  8. Inmate Tease- how timely. My son the former fifth grader told me that his buddy’s older brother told him that prison makes your butt hurt.

    My son asked me to explain what that means. A good Inmate Tease t-shirt might be just the thing to help explain it.

    Oy.
    Jack@TheJackB recently posted..No Posts Were Found!My Profile

  9. I got a lot of emails everyday and most of them are just junk.. Sometimes I just want to change email and reset everything…

  10. My husband LOVED the bidet in the bathroom at the hospital when our daughter was born…I think he would probably be very excited to receive one for Father’s day…Yeah, that’s how weird we are!

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