Please note, I do not advocate actual torture of one’s beloved in any way, either physical, psychological, or otherwise. However should you be bored one Sunday morning, and a Shirley MacLaine marathon is not available for immediate viewing, this should suffice:
1. Ask him nicely to go to Starbucks to get you a coffee.
2. Tell him you’d like a “Grande Vanilla Latte.”
3. When he winces and spends way too much time explaining how uncool and embarrassing that is, respond with, “Okay then..make that a Half-caf Grande Vanilla Latte.”
4. Enjoy your day!