The 8 year old nephew: So my friend has this game he told me about.
Me: Oh yeah? What’s that?
Nephew: It’s called Spank the Monkey.
Me: Spank the Monkey? Was he joking with you?
Nephew: No, he told me it’s really fun.
Me: Um…did he ask you to play it with him? What did he tell you about it?
Nephew: He said you can get like a million points if you get to the bonus round.
Nephew: It’s on the computer.
Me: (Wiping sweat from every pore) Okay then. Okay. Well, you should know that Spank the Monkey is a slang term that’s not very nice. So be careful when you say it.
Nephew: What does it mean?
Me: Well…it means masturbate.
Me: Do you know what that means?
Me: It’s when a boy plays with his penis.
(Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink.)
Nephew: So can I go and play GameBoy?
Me: Yeah, why don’t you do that. That’s a great idea.