Indeed it would be easy to compose a snarky post about certain aspects of the trip. The truth is, it would be disingenuous of me because I had a great time. And it would be completely rude of me to dwell on the few negatives of a very thoughtful week put together by my inlaws, whom I fell in love with all over again.
Also, I already did the snarky post two years ago.
Instead, I’d like to offer up the aspects of the weekend that I never thought I would have enjoyed but I did.
1. TGI Friday’s Microwavable Spinach, Cheese and Artichoke Dip. Can 800 million grams of fat be wrong?
2. A stranger squeezing Sage’s legs and cooing, “Oh, what a fat little baby you are! What a fat little baby!” Would this ever happen in New York City? And be intended as a compliment?
3. Bonding with my sister-in-law Lexi on the way too long car ride to Papa John’s pizza and back, necessary because it was somehow against company policy to deliver a pizza to an address simply known as “Mobile Home #8.”
4. Sitting on a deck in no makeup drinking bottles of Bud as the sun goes down. This is a much underrated summertime activity, although I could have done without the red ants.
5. An endless stream of forward rolls, with no fear of anyone hitting her legs on the bedroom wall.
6.Eating the finest McDonald’s biscuit in the history of McDonald’s biscuits. Carolina Beach McD’s? Bless you, for I have never in my life experienced such a perfect combination of bleached white flour and liquid margarine.
7. Stupid photo-ops
8. Chasing after the sanctigranny in the supermarket who yelled at Nate for flinging Thalia up in the air, just so I could say, “Excuse me? Did you have something to say to me?” Boy, she didn’t expect that. It was also fun to murmur under my breath, “I’ll accept parenting advice from you the day you get teeth.” You can take the Etiquette Bitch out of New York…
9. Taking a deep breath and accepting the fact that my daughters were going to be fed about 600 cookies a day by their cousins and their aunts and that it wouldn’t kill them. Or me.