Monday I was a bloody wreck. I spent the entire day in anguish, on the verge of tears at work, checking in too frequently with my sitter (is she home? does she know?), trying to figure out what the evening would be like. Whether I would need to put out any emotional fires that were smouldering.

And yet…nothing.

A normal day for my girls.

I realized at that point, I simply couldn’t handle the anxiety. I couldn’t spend every single day for the next week or month or year, wondering did they…? what did they…? are they feeling….?

I couldn’t send them to school with the “No I don’t know, and please don’t tell me” button of my fantasies.

It was time to talk to my oldest about Newtowne. Continue reading →