I looked everywhere for the pink and red floral sundress – the one we made sure would be clean today. The one Thalia insisted she’d wear for her first day of Kindergarten tomorrow. She’s had it all planned out for days, right down to the sandals and the ponytail holder. (That’s my girl.)

I went through her closet: No dress. I opened every drawer: No dress. I did the crazy person move and looked through the same closet and the same drawers again, hoping for different results.

No dress.

Thalia is anxious tonight. she’s still up at 9PM, telling me she can’t sleep. She’s telling me she doesn’t know enough about her classroom to have good dreams about it yet. She’s peeling off her clothes. She’s saying she’s hot. She’s asking for more milk, another story, a longer backrub, one more kiss. She’s hungry. She’s not hungry. And can’t I just stay for a hundred and seventy-million more seconds?

My first-born child is starting Kindergarten tomorrow. My heart is bursting and breaking at once. And I don’t have the heart to tell her I can’t find the dress.