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The logic of the 3 year old

Substitute all Ls and Rs for W’s for the full effect.

I want someone to sleep with me.
Thalia can sleep with you, Sage.
I want someone tall to sleep with me.
Thalia is taller than you.
I want someone who is the same tall as you to sleep with me.

No, you can’t have a cookie. Remember, you didn’t finish your breakfast so no snacks. 
But the cookie is not my snack. It can be my lunch.

We’re playing orphan.
What’s an orphan?
Someone with no mommy and no daddy and no house.

I really need a Band Aid.
What do you need a Band Aid for?
For this cut I have.
That’s not a cut, Sage. There’s no cut there.
Yes, it’s red and it’s bleeding. You said if it’s red and it’s bleeding it’s a cut.
Well, I’m looking and I don’t see red or bleeding. 
It’s bleeding on the inside.

I want to sit in the front seat of the car.
You have to sit in the back, Sage. 
But I want to drive.
You need to sit in your seat. Anyway, your feet can’t touch the pedals.
I will use my hands.

Can I have French fries for dinner?
No honey, you had them with lunch. 
But that wasn’t on this day.
Yes. Yes it was. It was today at lunchtime, remember?
But it wasn’t in a cup. Can I have French fries in a cup?
No, you can’t have them at all. You already had some today.
But…but I can’t feel them anymore.

Want me to kiss your boo-boo and make it better?
No because it doesn’t hurt now so don’t kiss it or it will make it hurt.

Finish your sandwich please.
I am not hungry.
That’s fine, but no ice cream.
I am only hungry for ice cream.

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