I try not to rag on the bad pitches I get at Cool Mom Picks. Really I do. Although last night, I did have a grand old time dishing with the totally cool editors of The Giggle Guide about the Worst Product for Kids Ever.

(My vote: The disembodied hand in the crib. Shhh…don’t tell anyone.)

I know that most of these products, however misguided or patently horrible, are backed by a small entrepreneur who really believes in her idea, and I’m not going to be the jerk to burst her bubble and tell her that no, the parenting world is not waiting for a baby toupee or or an infant onesie that says Future Pole Dancer spelled out in CPSIA non-compliant rhinestones.

But this morning I couldn’t resist.

I was pitched a Dora The Explorer Fragrance.

I only wish I were kidding.

Because evidently, if there is one problem three year olds have, it’s that they just don’t smell like bergamot orange.

So I blurted out on Twitter that I think the next product in the series is Elmo Tampons.

I’m also imagining some great cross-merch ops with Pinky Dinky Doo feminine body spray, Backyardigans nipple cream, and Diego-brand pregnancy testers. (Oh, that Diego. He’s a wily one.)

What else is a terrible no good very bad idea? This is fun.