I have this theory that in everyone’s life there is a collection of lost songs – those once beloved tunes turned cringe-worthy things of auditory and perhaps emotional pain.
Where at one time they were the songs that made you happy, made you dance, made you swoon, at some point the joy was heartlessly taken away from you by a two-timing boyfriend, a creepy American Idol contestant, or an infuriating commercial that twisted some inspired lyrics with the hopes that the greatest love song of the 80s might sell some burgers.
Every so often, I’ll stumble across one of these songs and it jars the memories, and then I mourn the days that I loved the song before I hated it. A few that come to mind:
Melt With You – This is always the one I think of first. You blew it BK. And BK’s ad agency. And whoever represented Modern English and sold out one of the greatest songs of all time for a few thousand dollars and some magic beans. I hope you bought some nice hair plugs with your earnings, you miscreants.
Ray Charles: Anthology – Man, I was addicted to this album. And then I had to go and fall head over heels with his number one fan and we listened to it every night and smooched on the couch to it until the day he told me that oh by the way he was going to drop out of civilization and become a bartender at Club Med starting now. I listened to Crying Time every day for a week and then threw it out.
Don’t Stop Believin’ – There was a time that this was my ring tone. And it wasn’t all that long ago. Thanks, Sopranos, for making it everyone’s ringtone. Hmph.
Bohemian Rhapsody – Wayne and Garth gave us schwing but took away Queen. I’m not sure that was a fair trade.
Total Eclipse of the Heart – I dated a guy in high school and for the full 10 days of our relationship this was Our Song. No idea why, really, because the video was actually kind of creepy. I’ve since reclaimed the song, but it was a bumpy ride there for a while for me and old Bonnie Tyler.
Kiss from a Rose – Death by overplaying. My bad entirely.
Sister Goldenhair – Frienemy got custody in our divorce agreement. These things happen.
Goodbye to You – Patty Smyth’s hit with Scandal actually had fantastic kitsch value until a former ad agency boss suggested we use it in a car commercial to represent “rock n roll luxury.” At that point I decided that it was cheese. And no, we didn’t use it. (There is only one other person out there right now who knows what I’m talking about by the way. And if he’s reading, he’s laughing his ass off.)
We Got the Beat – Last night. Dancing with the Stars. Enough said.
(Okay, who am I kidding. I still love Don’t Stop Believin’. I listened to it twice on You Tube while I wrote this post.)
So how about you? What’s the backstory on your favorite lost song?
