So as I’m addressing our New Year’s cards–and I say New Year’s because at this point in the procrastination timeline, calling them Christmas cards is laughable–when suddenly it dawns on me:

Our childless friends?

No freaking interest in getting some requisite photo card with a picture of our kids on them. Not in the least. Not even remotely.

I’m trying to remember how it felt when I was anxiously single and I had to rip open these droves of cheesy freaking glossy cards plastered with smiling kids in matching reindeer sweaters. I would fake a smile and go “aw how cute,” when really I was thinking ow my fucking head, why did I let myself get talked into Slippery Nipple shots last night anyway?

And so I’ve deleted 90% of Those Who Will Not Miss The Card from the list.

I swear, I’m not just being lazy. Or cheap. Or saving time due to the fact that it’s 26 hours from Christmas and I haven’t even bought stamps yet.

No, really.

Really.