Me: Thalia, you have to eat this piece of pizza. It’s so teeny – it’s not really even a piece, it’s like a quarter of a piece. It’s three bites. Come on, eat it please.

Thalia: I don’t like pizza.

Me: What? You’re a communist. All American kids like pizza. It’s like the law. You’re crazy.

Thalia: I don’t like it.

Me: So what do you like?

Thalia: Rice.

Me: And what else?

Thalia: Milk.

Me: And what else?

Thalia: Cake.

Me: Rice, milk, and cake. That’s what you like. Anything else?

Thalia: I will eat the pizza. But only with no cheese. And no sauce.

Me: So you just want the crust?

Thalia: No, I don’t like the crust.

Me: So no pizza, then.

Thalia: No.

Me: Outstanding.