“Mommy, where are your booooooooobs?”

“They’re right here. And they’re called breasts.”

“Daddy says booooooooobs.”

“I know honey. But that’s a silly word. Like a word we only say inside, when we’re home. There are some words that are at home words, and some words that we say with everyone else. Breasts is the word you use with everyone else. And these are my breasts.”

“But where are your boobs?”

“They’re the same thing. Some words have two different names. Like…like kids are also called children.”

“Oh!”

“And cats are also called kitties. Boobs are also called breasts. Do you understand?”

“Yes! Like people are also…like people are also called…monkeys.”

“Don’t tell that to the Evangelicals.”

“The what?”

“Never mind.”