Oh my poor blog, I apologize for neglecting you lately. You and the other blogs around you, some of which are prettier and smarter and way more deserving of my attention than even you.

These days I could fall asleep standing up. I could fall asleep standing up in broad daylight with George Clooney standing right in front of me asking me where I’ve been all his life. In fact, that very well may have happened. Today even. But how would I know? I’d have been asleep.

(I’m so tired that I’m actually writing about being tired, which may easily be the single most boring topic in the mommyblog world, second only to that meme that asks you to list everything you ate this week. But I’m too tired to delete and start over.)

I’m sorry that I’m neglecting you blog because there are so many things I want to write about, but you see, I’m not just tired, I’m in the Land of Bitten off More Than I Can Chew. This is a land where I’m back to work but still have the same bills to pay, the same home to clean, the same toddler to play with because she’s not yet old enough to meet me at a bar for a drink, damn her. And the same baby waking up two times a night. Or 80.

Depends on the night.

I’m wondering how they do it, those working moms with little babies. How do they find the time, the enthusiasm, the motivation, the brain power day after day?

Are they all faking it too?

Or, maybe, they have wives.

Yes, that’s it. I need a wife.

Anyone got a spare wife lying around?

Anyone?

[Cue SFX: Head hitting the keyboard]