2: Number of family celebrations for Thalia (So take that, America)

47: Number of minutes she lasted in her birthday dress before deciding that “naked time” would be more fun

7: Total number of times the happy birthday song was sung and candles were blown out

Party #1, Happy Birthday Song #3,
and we’re just getting started here

2: Number of parents coming to the realization that you can buy your child a ridiculously overpriced top of the line supertricycle that promises real air tires, a comfortable ride and an authentic bell, but only when presented with a little Melissa & Doug animal toy thingie will she exclaim WOWWWWW! OH MY GOODNESS! HEY, COOOOOOOOL!

1 million: Number of dollars I wish I had so I could pay my relatives to live with me and attend to my children whenever I need to take a nap.

3: Number of friends made; 2 of them inanimate

New Friends, L to R: Quinlan, “Girl,” “Boy,” Thalia

100: Estimated number of times I felt like a complete dork tearing up over having a 2 year-old.

Two! How is that even possible?