Hello Liz! 

I’m part of the [Big Website] marketing team. [Big Website] is an online community with +6M users, dedicated to making the lives of moms easier and more enjoyable.

We’ll be launching a new iPhone app over the next few weeks. We’ve selected a very small group of bloggers to be beta testers, and would love to have you participate. We know that moms are busy, so we’ll keep the process short and simple short. Please note you will need an iPhone 3G, 3GS or 4 to participate.

I hope you can join our beta test!  I look forward to hearing back from you!

Dear [Big Website] Senior Marketing Manager,

Oh my gosh, I can’t even believe you picked me. You picked me! In such a very small group of bloggers no less. I can’t even imagine what I did to deserve this honor. Especially since the last time I corresponded with someone from your site, you were congratulating me on making your LIST OF TOP BLOGGERS that would appear on some buried page somewhere on your site, and all I had to do in exchange was post your widget on my blog. And then your readers would vote and pare down the list so I might not be on your LIST OF TOP BLOGGERS after all, but still. We had some really good, heartfelt conversations about that, and I think that we kind of had a connection there.  Did you feel it? Did you?

Or wait, as I recall, that’s not what happened. Oh shoot, now I remember. I told you that your email hurt my feelings. It made me super sad to think that you really liked me and deemed me worthy of your LIST OF TOP BLOGGERS only to find out that you didn’t really like me, you only liked what I could do for you. It brought back all these flashbacks to that one dorky girl in 7th grade who I liked, but who everyone else was only nice to because she had a swimming pool and her parents went away and left the kids alone on weekends. Didn’t you hate those kids? Me too! So you totally understand.

I also told you that if I posted your badge on my blog that you would be in the company of 1) my own website 2) my best friend’s book 3) women I love who have cancer. That is a very small group of bloggers too. So we are totally sympatico on the small list of bloggers thing.

Only come to think of it, I didn’t ask any of those people to do anything for me in return. So I guess we’re different in that way after all.

So back to this beta testing thing.

I know you’re a big fan of my blog and all and deem me (sort of) a TOP BLOGGER, which is probably where you got the idea that I have lots of free time to beta test the iPhone app of a company I have no relationship with, and how doing consulting work for free just gives me that warm tingly feeling inside. You know, the same one you get when you volunteer with orphans on Christmas or throw yourself between a baby deer and a hunting rifle to save her life. But then I had a better idea:

I know you probably can’t afford my hourly consulting rate, and clearly you know that “moms are busy,” so maybe you could beta test some stuff for me in exchange.

Here are just a few ideas but I bet you could come up with some great ideas too. Or hey – maybe your 6 million readers could! Moms can be very creative.

-I need someone to beta test my new mop on about 1300 square feet of hardwood floors.

-I need a beta tester to supervise the creation and delivery of 39 hand-colored Valentine’s cards by Monday.

-I could use a beta tester to try out the new laundry room on the tenth floor of our building. I hear the washer is now a front loader. Big news around here!

–Whitney suggested I have someone beta test recipes/fresh ingredients on my family at about 6.30 pm each night. I love that idea! (See? Creative moms. Just like I told you.)

 -I’d like a beta tester to try distracting my kids while me and the Mister get in some sexy time. Maybe even take them out of the house altogether. I will pay for the ice cream.

-I’ve wanted to beta test what it’s like to have 6 million readers come to my blog every month. Something tells me this one is right up your alley!

Anyhow, I look forward to hearing back from you. This could be the start of a really great partnership. I really do feel a connection here. Or maybe that’s gas.

Love,
Mom-101

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thanks so much to schmutzie for including this in her five-star friday round-up.